


A Lesson through Death

by Blueshifting



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don't question it, Episode: s05e07 A Lesson in Vengeance, Gen, Ghost Merlin (Merlin), Guilty knights, Mordred isn't here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20366068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueshifting/pseuds/Blueshifting
Summary: Arthur didn't wake up soon enough after being poisoned-- Merlin's been executed. The enchantment on Gwen was broken by her grief over Merlin's death, but it's a pyrrhic victory with Merlin gone. Gwaine, Percival, and Leon are privately drowning their sorrows when Merlin's ghost appears before them. Why is he back in the world of the living, and what will the ensuing revelations mean for Arthur, the Knights, and Camelot?





	1. Prologue: Gwen

Merlin lay limp on the executioner’s block, having lost all his fighting spirit. Queen Guinevere looked perfectly stoic as she signaled the executioner. A stranger never would have guessed she was executing a man she considered to be a dear friend. Merlin’s head was severed from his body quickly, before he could even release a scream. The executioners of Camelot prided themselves on their ability to do the deed quickly and relatively painlessly (even if the criminal in question didn’t deserve it). So all were momentarily stunned when they heard a scream, and even more shocked when it came from the Queen. 

She seemed to have become a completely different person the instant Merlin died. Rather than a detached Queen, she became a distraught friend lost in grief and anguish. She took several moments to compose herself. Then, with a slightly-shaking voice, she declared, “I have failed my husband, Camelot, and my friends. I was enchanted by Morgana. It was not Merlin who poisoned the King-- it was I.”


	2. Prologue: Arthur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur wakes up.

The pain was the first thing King Arthur was aware of. It wasn’t sharp or intense, but dull and throbbing. He couldn’t quite pinpoint where it was coming from-- the pain seemed to be everywhere at once. Once he was conscious of the pain, Arthur began to notice more. His eyelids seemed heavy and he felt weak and exhausted despite the fact that he hadn’t exerted himself. After he finished mentally evaluating his condition, Arthur slowly began to hear voices. They were unintelligible at first, and he heard them as if they were muffled by a wall between himself and the speakers. Gradually, he began to hear them more clearly.

“How is he, Gaius?” Gwen asked.

“I believe he will awaken soon, but we must let him do so on his own. To force him awake would do him no good,” Gaius said. Arthur thought he heard a note of sorrow in his voice, which puzzled him; Gaius had always cared for Arthur (while he would never admit it, Arthur considered him to be a father figure-- he was much more openly affectionate than Uther ever was), so why would he be upset by his recovery? Before Arthur could dwell much on it, another voice interjected.

“But he needs to be up already! We need him to quell all the chaos after what’s happened!” Gwaine, explained, sounding both worried and angry.

“Yes, but the King appearing while still unwell won’t do anything to ease the people’s minds,” Leon said, always the voice of reason. Percival nodded in agreement, and no one seemed inclined to argue further. An uneasy silence filled the chamber. 

Arthur summoned the energy to open his eyes, albeit slowly. He couldn’t help but groan slightly as the light in the chamber intensified the pain in his head. All eyes turned to him, and Gwen rushed toward him and took his hands in hers. 

“Arthur!” she exclaimed. As he looked toward her, Arthur noticed tear tracks on her cheeks. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, though she still sounded deeply pained. 

“Guinevere, the poison-- who was it? I assume they’ve been caught,” Arthur said. Everyone in the room exchanged glances, none willing to speak up. Before he could be annoyed, Arthur noticed who was missing. “Wait a minute-- where’s that useless oaf? He fusses whenever I get as much as a scratch; why isn’t he here?” Everyone in the room looked deeply pained. “Out with it! Where is he, and what aren’t you telling me about the assassin?” he asked, exasperated. 

“Sire,” Gaius began, obviously taking great care with his words. “It’s a delicate situation, and difficult to explain--”

“It was me!” Gwen shouted, tears streaming down her face. “Morgana enchanted me, and I poisoned you--”  
“She enchanted you?” Arthur interjected. “How did you break free?”

Gwen looked even more anguished. “That’s the thing-- no one would dare accuse the Queen of poisoning you, but someone needed to be blamed. So I pinned it on Merlin; he had access to your food, after all.” Before she could continue, Arthur cut her off once again, incredulous.

“So Merlin’s in the dungeons? I'm surprised he hasn't been let out yet. Have a guard bring him up here,” Arthur said, looking to Leon. 

Gwen started sobbing so much that she couldn’t reply. Leon looked uneasy and said, “Sire, we can’t. Merlin was… he was executed.”

Arthur was stunned into silence. His face contorted into a look of grief, which morphed into anger. “What? I understand why Gwen did nothing-- she was enchanted-- but why did none of you do anything? Surely Merlin had an alibi; couldn’t you confirm it?”

“Sire, I’m ashamed to say that I was so preoccupied with your condition that I never checked his alibi,” Leon said, hanging his head. 

“Sir Gwaine, Sir Percival? What say you? Surely you knew that Merlin would never do such a thing!” Arthur shouted, enraged.

Gwaine was, uncharacteristically, at a loss for words. Prompted by his King’s glare, Percival began, “My lord, it was the same for I; I knew that Merlin was innocent, but I was concerned for your health, and I assumed that someone else would exonerate Merlin.”

“Sir Gwaine? Answer me!”

“I also did nothing! I’ve never been so ashamed! Merlin was my first and best friend, and I’ve failed him,” Gwaine admitted.

Arthur looked carefully at the knights. “We will continue this discussion at length later. But first I must know-- how was the enchantment on Guinevere broken?”

“It was broken when she cried tears of true grief, much like when your father was enchanted by the troll. But this enchantment was extraordinarily strong-- only grief from an actual death was enough to break the curse, so your poisoning wasn’t enough to break the enchantment, but Merlin’s execution was,” Gaius explained, voice wavering at the mention of Merlin dying.

Arthur looked as though he had aged a decade. After a long moment, he asked, “What has been done with Merlin’s body?”  
“Nothing yet, my lord-- the execution was just this morning,” Leon said.

“He is to be given a funeral with full honors-- he deserves nothing less,” Arthur said. “I know the council and the nobles will object, but I won’t be swayed on this.” 

“Thank you-- it’s a comfort to know that Merlin will be remembered as the good and honorable man he was,” Gaius said, teary-eyed. “Please excuse me, sire. I must tend to Sir Elyan.” Elyan had been wounded when they rescued Gwen from the dark tower, but miraculously survived, though he was still on bed rest.

“Of course, Gaius,” he said kindly. “Sirs Leon, Gwaine, and Percival, I expect you to return here in two hours to discuss what had occurred. I suggest that you avoid being late,” Arthur said harshly. Gaius and the knights exited, leaving Gwen and Arthur alone to comfort each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elyan's alive because I said so. I was tempted to have Lancelot alive as well, but I didn't want it to diverge from canon quite that early.


	3. After the funeral

Merlin’s funeral was attended by a throng of mourners. Many lingered afterward to remember the boy who touched their hearts with the kindness he gave so freely. 

“I thought my daughter wouldn’t survive; Gaius had been ordered to tend to some of the nobility, so he couldn’t help us. I knew that Merlin was up to his neck in work, but he treated her anyway. He really was becoming a skilled healer,” a mother said, her daughter by her side. 

“Do you remember the way that he’d entertain the children whenever he was in town?” A man reminisced.

“The juggling or the stories?” Another asked.

“Both! And by God, the man laughed when he was in the stocks! I’ve never met anyone else so infectiously cheerful.”

“He’d always offer me a hand when I was carrying things,” a servant added.

“Of course he did, that’s Merlin for you,” a woman said bittersweetly.

“...I can’t believe he’s gone. He was such a fixture in the castle ever since he came to Camelot,” someone confessed.

They were shocked into silence as the Queen walked up to them. They began to bow, but she cut them off.

“I’m not here as your Queen; I’m here as Merlin’s friend,” she said. They nodded in acknowledgement. “He comforted me after my father died. He was the sort of person who’d do anything for his friends.”

“Aye, didn’t he drink poison for the king?”

“Yes. He was so sick, we didn’t think he’d survive. It was awful. I couldn’t help but be surprised that he even did it-- he didn’t exactly get along with Arthur at the time. They weren’t as antagonistic as when they first met, but they still weren’t friends. But Merlin saved his life anyway, knowing that it could’ve cost him his own,” Gwen said. 

“Wait-- he didn’t get along with the king back then?” A man asked. He came to Camelot after Merlin and Arthur had become close friends, and it seemed to him that they had never been anything else.

“Oh yes. Back then Arthur was, well, a bit of a prat, as Merlin would say,” no one commented on the tears that welled up in Gwen’s eyes-- many of them were on the brink of crying as well. “When he was harassing a servant, Merlin, completely ignoring rank, walked up to him and told him to stop it. I don’t think he knew that Arthur was the prince, but it must’ve been obvious that he was a nobleman; Merlin just didn’t care, and stood up to him anyway.”

The conversation continued for quite a while; it seemed that everyone had stories about how Merlin warmed their hearts.

***

In the round table room, Gwaine, Leon, and Percival were drinking. They lingered at the back during the funeral, and didn’t stay around to swap stories. Everyone undoubtedly knew that they had done nothing to try to prove Merlin’s innocence; if they had done something then Merlin would’ve lived, since his alibi was easy to prove. Their only solace was drink and each other. 

Gwaine normally would’ve gone to the tavern, as he usually did, but he knew that the barkeeper and the regular crowd wouldn’t want him there-- even though Merlin only came to the tavern when dragging Gwaine out or when accompanied by his friends, everyone there knew and liked him. So Gwaine chose to drown his sorrows in his private stash, which he shared with the other knights. 

They were all quiet as they drank, choosing to ruminate silently rather than share their guilt. The silence was interrupted by the door opening. Elyan walked in, somewhat slowly since he was still recovering from his injury. 

“Elyan, it’s good to see you awake and walking around,” Leon said flatly. Elyan was taken aback by his tone, but decided to enquire after he had done what he came to do.

“Yes, I’m doing much better. I still have to take it easy, but I can walk,” Elyan said. “When I awoke, I knew that something had happened after I was injured, but no one was willing to tell me; when I asked, they told me to ask you. So what happened? Everyone seems very morose.” Elyan paused for a moment, thinking. “Also, have you seen Merlin? He’s usually hovering by the bedside of anyone who’s injured; I’m surprised he hasn’t come to see me yet.” 

Leon, Gwaine, and Percival exchanged uneasy glances, none of them wanting to break the news to Elyan. They knew that Elyan had quickly befriended Merlin after seeing his bravery and kindness; he was eternally grateful to Merlin for being there for Gwen when he wasn’t. He wouldn't take news of Merlin's death or their involvement well. The silence stretched on, and Elyan looked expectantly at Leon. Hesitantly, Leon began, “The King was poisoned, and Merlin was arrested. He didn't do it, of course!"

Before Leon could continue, Elyan asked "Is the King alright? Do we know who poisoned him?"

"Yes, he's doing better. It was the Queen-- she was enchanted by Morgana. The enchantment has been broken."

"How?"

"She had to cry tears of grief--"

"Grief? Is everyone okay? Was it like the troll?" He asked, hoping they managed to break the curse by tricking her into it. The knights knew that the troll's enchantment was broken by Uther's tears of grief, and that they managed to make it happen by faking Arthur's death. Elyan prayed that something similar happened this time.

"Elyan, it was Merlin. He-- he's dead. He was executed for treason."

"No! But why? He didn't do it; you told me!"

Gwaine, shame clear on his face, spoke. "We-- we didn't prove his innocence until after he was gone. No one checked his alibi before he went to the axe."

Elyan couldn't help but feel sick at the idea of Merlin, kind Merlin, being beheaded. God, he thought, he must've been terrified. How his heart must have broken when he realized that no one was going to exonerate him, that his friends had abandoned him, and that he was going to die hated and be remembered as a traitor. 

"Why?" Elyan asked, voice quiet with sorrow, but with anger simmering beneath. "Why weren't you there for him? Merlin's helped all of us, but you didn't even lift a finger to save him, it seems!"

None of the others spoke for a long moment. “It doesn’t make it okay, but we were occupied with the King’s health,” Percival said.

“I can’t believe you!” Elyan shouted. He turned around and left, slamming the door on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think that I could write the funeral well, so I skipped it. Also, Merlin's ghost should finally appear in the next chapter. Any feedback is appreciated!


	4. The haunting of the knights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghost!Merlin finally appears.

As they drank, the room’s atmosphere got even more grim. The air itself seemed to grow cold as the mood plummeted. Once the knights started shivering, though, they realized that the air actually was chilling. They looked up from their drinks, no longer lost in thought. There was a faint glow above the table that increased in brightness until a human form was barely discernible. The vague outline coalesced into a familiar form-- Merlin. Everyone in the room paused, stunned speechless.

Merlin began to speak after leveling an icy look at each of the knights. “Nice to see you again, though I wish it was under better circumstances,” he said cooly. “Though now I have a new souvenir,” he remarked, pulling off his neckerchief to show an ugly, still-red line from where he had been beheaded.

Leon’s heart clenched in shame and fear. He knew that ghosts were vengeful, though he never thought Merlin would be one for revenge. But then again, he had been abandoned by his friends; anyone would want to retaliate after that. However, Merlin had always been a kind soul; perhaps Leon could talk him out of it.

“Merlin, there’s no way to right the wrong we’ve done to you, but revenge isn’t the way. I know you’re not that kind of person. I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but please don’t be consumed by vengeance,” Leon pleaded.

“Yes; Merlin, you’re better than that!” Percival said.

“Leon, Percival, just listen to me!” Merlin demanded. “I’m not here to get revenge, or haunt you for the rest of your life, or whatever other horrible thing you’re thinking. I just need to know why. Why didn’t you bother to check my alibi? Did you really think I’d poison Arthur? I thought you were my friends, but I guess I was just deluding myself!” The knights looked stricken.

Merlin continued, “Gods, when I was in that cell, I expected that one of you would’ve checked my alibi, proven my innocence, and gotten me out of there. It wasn’t until I was being led to the chopping block that I realized the truth: no one bothered to check if I really did it; you were all willing to accept that I was a would-be assassin based on flimsy circumstantial evidence. I knew that I was going to die hated and be remembered as a traitor, and that was actually worse than being beheaded. I should hate all of you; you left me to die without a second thought! But I can’t even bring myself to hate you. You abandoned and betrayed me, but I can’t hate you. I just… can’t,” Merlin admitted, lowering his gaze.

“Merlin…” Gwaine said, stricken.

Merlin looked up again and stared straight into Gwaine’s eyes. “No! You don’t get to ‘Merlin’ me! You abandoned me and left me to die when I needed you most! I don’t understand why. Did our years of friendship mean nothing to you? Did you ever really consider me a friend, or were you just humoring me and taking advantage of my kindness?” Merlin said with uncharacteristic anger. Despite being a ghost, he began to cry quietly. Apparently spirits could weep.

“Merlin, please, I really was your friend! I’m so sorry!” Gwaine yelled desperately.

“Merlin, I’m sorry as well. I’ve failed as a knight and as a friend. I’ve regretted what happened ever since Arthur found proof of your innocence,” Leon said.

“I can’t hate you, but I don’t think that I can forgive you either,” Merlin confessed. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Anything,” Gwaine, Percival, and Leon said immediately.

“Could you bring Arthur and Gwen here? I need to tell them that it wasn’t their fault,” Merlin said, his expression earnest and full of vulnerability. “I won’t let them wallow in guilt.”

“Consider it done,” Leon said, and left the room to fetch the King and Queen. Gwaine and Percival looked apprehensive about being left with Merlin’s ghost, but didn’t object.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, any and all comments are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think! I have a general idea where this is going, but any suggestions are welcome. Thank you for reading!


End file.
